Why the Heck am I Catholic?

Well when it comes to this part of my story it is much less dramatic but very important nonetheless. First I want to say if you have not read the first 2 parts of my story click here for part 1 and here for part 2.

After my conversion, It was a slow process of understanding. Lots of prayer and reading. I came to a point though where I just wanted to be in the true faith that God had made himself. It really didn't matter to me what it was. I asked God to show me where it was that he had established the way he wanted man to worship him. I told him it didn't matter whether it was Judaism, Christianity(Catholic or Protestant) Islam. It didn't matter. I just wanted to be with him.

Now some of you reading this may think that a prayer like that is  blasphemous, but i don't think it's even possible to be, because for the simple fact that a human being can humble himself enough to say such a thing with the absolute intention and desire to do the will of God and exposing yourself to him in this way is exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said that we must become like little children in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. This is probably one of the only examples that I can give in my life where I completely gave myself to God and let him take complete control. I have a hard time with everything else in life with complete trust to him, but in this instance the Grace was there and I meant it. What happened in the next 6 months of my life was a hardcore crash coarse in the History of Religion especially Christianity, and when I was able to pinpoint the footsteps of Christianity it didn't take me long to realize what Church existed in the very beginning after Pentecost.

It was the Catholic Church, better yet it is the Catholic Church. Look...if you're honest with yourself and you study even just a little about the history of Christianity from RELIABLE sources, there is no mistake that the faith the Early Christians held on to was what we would call the Catholic Church today. Everything from infant baptism, to the sacrament of Penance(Confession), Belief in the True Presence of Christ, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Holy Eucharist.

The combination "the Catholic Church" (he katholike ekklesia) is found for the first time in the letter of St. Ignatius to the Smyrnaeans, written about the year 110. The words run: "Wheresoever the bishop shall appear, there let the people be, even as where Jesus may be, there is the universal [katholike] Church." From http://www.newadvent.org/

I had questions like what did the Early Christians believe? Who established what books would be part of the Bible? Why do we have so many different denominations if there is only 1 Holy Spirit, 1 God? If one truly prays and honestly asks God these things and opens their heart enough to say to God "Your will be done not mine. Even if it means doing something I can't stand or don't believe, or don't want to do." God will see your heart is wide pen to him and won't let you down.

Anyway...this isn't a long drawn out and in depth post. This my story. There is much more detail to it, but my posts would be quite long. More time than I have at the moment. Please consider commenting with your story, and I will post it as soon as I can. If you've got questions about anything to do with the Church leave a comment as well. I will be happy to answer any questions you may have.

May God bless you and give you the Grace to persevere until you take your last breath. God Love You, and Bless you always.

My Way Back Home To The Catholic Church part II

This is The second part of my conversion story. If you have not read part one, click here.

Now a couple of months or so had passed by since having the experience of seeing Jesus and having him speak to me in such a profound way. The only thing though is I never even really thought too much about what had happened. I kept living the same way that I was but I was beginning to have more of an interest in God. I bought a few books and read them and was feeling the pull towards Him.

At the time I was working at a Restaurant as a waiter. (Boy did I despise doing that job. For all of you that wait tables for a living I have MUCH respect for you. I have never tipped lousy since :) One night was especially bad. I had made quite a bit of money that night. The most I had done in weeks. After I got finished counting my money for the night, the end result was not what I had expected. I lost over $100 somehow and brought home almost nothing. At this point I broke. I couldn't take it anymore. (Just to interject here, it wasn't just the money it was everything surrounding me at that time and I just popped) I felt like I was depressed all the time anyways, and this just was the icing on the cake. I didn't know what I was feeling. I was angry, sad, frustrated. I just couldn't take living my life the way I was anymore. 

On my way home while I was driving I started letting it all out with God. Crying hysterically. I couldn't control myself. I yelled and cried out to him saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry please help me! Please!" Now when I tell you this keep in mind I was still driving my car on the Florida Turnpike. It was late probably sometime around midnight, so nobody was really on the road. I felt something like a rush into my soul and I was suddenly in a beautiful place under a tree. Everything was perfect. Tree's, grass, just awesome and peaceful. (The only thing I can guess is that this was some sort of inner locution. I wasn't aware at all that I was still driving my car)  I could somehow sense or maybe even see the Spirit of God coming across this vast land. He was coming towards me and as he reached to were I was he said to me "So what have you learned?" My response back to him was "I learned that I need to be more like you"As soon as I had completed that phrase I felt an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL rush into my soul. It was absolutely AMAZING! The joy that
I felt in that moment couldn't even come remotely close to the greatest joy felt here on earth. I can't even begin to describe it correctly. Amazing! That's all I can say. At that moment I knew exactly how God sees us and the enormous love he has for us, and I understood the relationship between us. If you were to ask me to describe what I understood...I couldn't even tell you. It was something I knew just in that moment. 


After it was over I came to somehow and was still driving my car. I was on cloud 9 after that. I felt great and was praising God all the way home. Since that very day I have not been able to go through a single day without thinking about Jesus. My life in that moment changed forever. I am completely aware of my sins and realize the need for conversion each and everyday. 


Now in part III I will explain why I am Catholic. Something that could come as a surprise is that I was ready to be part of any Church out there. I left that part in the hands of God himself...

My Way Back Home To The Catholic Church part I

I'll go ahead and start when I was a teenager and life was just way too simple. No responsibilities, just freshly out of High School and no real aspirations to do well....anything. I was in all kinds of trouble(although for the most part rarely got caught...Whew! Thank Our Lord for that one!) Started drinking a lot. Going to parties, working in various jobs. Let's  just say this...My life was Full of Sin, as long as I didn't break the"Thou Shalt Not Kill Commandment" I was ok I thought. There is a lot to say about my way of life at that time, but for the sake of making this readable, and getting to the point all I'll say is this...By all accounts, I was on a very slippery slope. My life was drenched in an abyss of darkness. It was very real, and evil had gripped me to the core and at around 20 years old, it was growing darker by the day and I was losing total control of just about everything in my life. I remember driving to work one day marveling at the "Great Achievements" of man. Buildings, and cars, technology, and remember saying to God. "You must marvel at what we've done as human beings. Just look at all this! I bet if I become a very powerful man with very little effort, You'll be so proud of what I've achieved!" Boy looking back at that now and what I know to be true...How Stupid!

But that's what pride will do to a person. I was Baptized Catholic, attended Mass off and on throughout childhood, but that was definitely enough to know better than that. I even went so far as to say to my friends at the time, "Yeah I believe in God, I think the Old Testament is all made up, but I think a lot of the New Testament is true. You know with Jesus and stuff." OYE! That's hard to even fathom at this point, but that just gives you a little taste of where I was in my life. 

Now somehow I was beginning to notice something was very wrong in my life. I couldn't quite pinpoint it at the time, but life was beginning to mean nothing at all to me. One night after watching TV for a little while I started to feel very distressed. I was thinking about Hell and whether I would go there had I died. This shook me. I believe God at this point was finally starting to break through this wall that I had built around my heart, but it wasn't ready to come down yet. I said "Oh God! Am I going to Hell!" I said this over and over again. It was a terrible sorrow and weight on my soul. I couldn't bear it. I started to cry and just kept repeating it over and over, only now I was saying "God please don't let me go there! Help me!" I laid my head down on my pillow and closed my eyes...and all of a sudden I saw a huge crowd of people(internally) and they were all on their knees. As I hovered across this crowd I came upon a huge altar made of stone. I was on this altar repeating the same words as earlier on my knees, and before me was Jesus Christ.(I'm still blown away by this even now, and this was 10 years ago) All of a sudden everything went away, except for Jesus and me laying prostrate in front of him. He then began to speak to me in a very gentle and calm but authoritative voice and he said "Do not worry. You are going to be alright." I then opened my eyes and was at peace...and ofcourse being naive I thought alright cool, I must be fine. So I continued on the same path, but this time things began to happen, and nothing could've prepared me for what would happen a few months later....

I think this will be a good place to stop for this post. Look out for the rest of my story coming up shortly.